dealing with difficult parents – 14 great tips

14 tips for dealing with difficult parents

1. Take control of the first impression

Don’t let the first impression be when you need to call a parent to tell them something concerning about their child. Or for their first impression to be molded by what their child comes home and says about you. 

Start the year by introducing yourself to them and making the impression you want to make. This doesn’t have to be done in person or individually to each parent. My favorite way to do this is to send home a ‘meet the teacher’ page that introduces me, the class and what my expectations are for the class moving forward. 

Grab my FREE meet the teacher template here. 

2. Listen

Often when parents have a concern or complaint they really just want to feel heard and understood. Even if their concern is unwarranted or they are asking for something unrealistic, try to reassure them by saying phrases like ‘I understand why you would be concerned about that’.

3. Keep an open mind

It is important to approach every parent interaction with an open mind. Try to understand the parent’s perspective, and listen to their concerns without becoming defensive. When parents feel heard, they are more likely to be receptive to your suggestions.

4. Communicate regularly

Regular communication with parents can help to avoid misunderstandings and potential conflicts. Make sure to communicate with parents through various channels such as emails, phone calls, or in-person meetings. This helps to establish a strong relationship and ensures that the parent is aware of their child’s progress.

5. Be proactive

Address potential issues before they become bigger problems. If you notice a student struggling in class or exhibiting problematic behavior, reach out to the parents proactively. This can show that you are invested in their child’s success and can help to build trust.

6. Use positive language

When communicating with parents, it is important to use positive language. Instead of saying, “Your child is disruptive in class,” try saying, “Your child has so much potential, and I believe with some guidance, they can excel in class.” Positive language can help to prevent the conversation from becoming confrontational.

7. Be solution-focused

When discussing problems with parents, focus on solutions rather than dwelling on the issues. Brainstorm ways that the student can improve, and make a plan with the parent for how they can support their child’s learning at home.

8. Be empathetic

It is important to understand that parents may be coming from a place of frustration or concern when communicating with teachers. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective. This can help to build a stronger relationship and prevent conflicts from escalating.

9. Document interactions

It is important to document any interactions with difficult parents in case there are any disputes in the future. This can help to ensure that there is a clear record of what was discussed and agreed upon. 

When you make note of these interactions make sure you are factual and leave the emotion out of it. Dot points are helpful and easy to refer to later. Include the date, time and location of any meetings or incidents and record down if there were any witnesses – particularly if it was an aggressive interaction.

10. Stay professional

No matter how difficult the parent interaction may be, it is important to remain professional and avoid becoming defensive or emotional. Keep your focus on the student’s academic success, and remember that your role is to support their learning.

11. Involve administration

If a parent is particularly difficult or hostile, it may be necessary to involve administration. They can help to mediate the situation and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

If you are ever concerned about your safety make sure you are not meeting parents alone. Invite administration or a mentor / colleague to be present with you.

12. Seek support

Dealing with difficult parents can be stressful, and it is important to seek support from colleagues or a supervisor. They may have experienced similar situations and can offer advice and guidance on how to handle the situation effectively.

13. Don’t take it personally

You don’t know what sort of background these parents are bringing to the situation. It is very possible that they have felt unheard or were unhappy with previous teachers’ responses or actions and they are bringing that frustration into this situation. 

14. Thank them

Thank them for being an advocate for their child and being proactive about what they want. This can really help to build rapport with the parents and help them to feel seen and heard. It can also bring the tone of the meeting into a positive space.

Conclusion

Dealing with difficult parents can be a challenging aspect of teaching, but it is important to handle these interactions with care and professionalism. By keeping an open mind, communicating regularly, being proactive, using positive language, and focusing on solutions, teachers can help to build strong relationships with parents and ensure the success of their students. 

Remember to document interactions, stay professional, involve administration if necessary, and seek support from colleagues or a supervisor. With these strategies, teachers can effectively deal with difficult parents and ensure that every student has the support they need to succeed.

Have you had to deal with difficult parents?

Please share your tips and ideas for how to deal with difficult parents below.